12-14-15 Way Back Then

So I am incredibly exhausted, so all I've got is this...

Here's our family... 15 people ago... Circa January 2008.

It was awesome then... It's much more awesome now.



Hopefully tomorrow will bring some kind of renewed inspiration and creativity! Goodnight!

12-13-15 I want to be like my boy

Yesterday before the crazy, we had been furiously cleaning the house. I'm trying to get it holiday ready so we can enjoy it a little more. Part of the cleaning was purging and getting rid of old toys the kids don't play with. I told them each to pick out some toys that we can donate. C went around picking out small little toys that didn't matter much to her and she would never miss. Big E however took one of his prize toys and handed it to me. At that point I wasn't sure if he understood the exercise so I got down on his level and explained the toy would be going away and it wouldn't be coming back. This was a toy that I personally felt he's should keep, and I was kinda sad that he had selected it. However he was insistent that that was the toy to send away. I sat with him as daddy took it outside and he started to cry. He said that he was sad that the toy was going away. I asked him if he wanted to keep it, but he shook his head no and said he wanted it to go. I'll admit I was incredibly humbled by this moment and this kid. He had just done the most selfless act a three year old could ever do. He hadn't picked the leftover or the forgotten toy, he had picked his biggest and best, and with tears, he gave it away. He mourned it for a few minutes and then moved on.

This evening we had dinner with some good friends and they suggested we should donate it as a shoebox gift and let Big E pack a box. So we pulled the toy out of the van with some other small toys and explained to him what we were doing. He eagerly filled the box to overflowing. Again, he didn't show any interest in keeping his prize toy. When we got home he mentioned again that he hoped it would come home someday but I explained it was for good. He pouted for a moment and again moved on.

And as I tucked him into bed I started thinking that I wish I had a heart like that little guy. I wish I could be that selfless. I wish I could offer my best, mourn it's loss, and move on. His choice so perfectly illustrated the choice God calls us to make on a daily basis, to give Him the best and trust Him with that decision. What a powerful lesson my little boy taught me today. I want to be like my boy.

12-12-15 A Scary Moment and an ER Visit

Tim and I had some great plans today. We were going to drop the older kids off with Rebecca and take Baby E shopping with us. I had a list. I was prepared! We got the kids ready first and sent them outside to play basketball with the neighbor kid, a child in C's grade. Tim was getting baby E in his seat and I was gathering the last minute stuff for the diaper bag when I heard Big E crying outside. Apparently he had tripped and fallen. Neither Tim nor I saw the fall, but Tim saw him after he landed and didn't think much of it. Big E was crying, but seemed ok. Tim called for him to come to the house. He stood up and started running toward Tim when he suddenly veered off and passed out! He went down face first into the concrete. I heard Tim run for him and as I looked out the door I saw him laying limp behind the back wheel of the van. My heart stopped. Tim scooped him up and his eyes were rolling back in his head. 

It took about a minute for him to come to. His forehead was all scraped up and he wasn't responding to us, or crying. By the time he started crying we had already decided to take him to the ER. We packed up the kids. My sister in law was kind enough to take Baby E and we dropped C off as planned. 

The way down to the hospital Tim sat in the back with E and kept him awake. 

When we got to the ER they took us right back. By this point he was acting pretty normal, but we still wanted him checked out, when the doctor showed up and did his exam he concluded he should have a CAT scan to make sure there was nothing more than the surface damage. He said the second fall could have been caused by a seizure after the first fall. He was very concerned about the passing out and eye rolling and the large size of the bruise.

When discussing the injury, we think perhaps the first fall was a hit to the head as well because his hands and knees were not scraped up. He had a few small cuts on the top of his finger and his chin and nose were scraped up, along with the huge mark on his forehead. 

The CAT scan was ordered, At that point Big E was allowed to fall asleep, and man did he fall asleep! He was sitting on Tim's lap on the bed and so they just wheeled them both down to the CAT scan room. Amazingly he stayed asleep being transferred to the CAT scan bed and slept through the entire scan!! He didn't wake up again until we were back in the room and waiting for the results. 

The technician didn't see anything to concern her, and when the doctor finally came in he agreed that the scan looked good. Big E was diagnosed with a concussion and we have orders to keep an eye on him for the next twenty four hours. After 3+ hours in the ER they sent us home, 

I am so very grateful for that outcome. I will never forget that moment of seeing him laying there, of watching his eyes roll back. It was horrible. Thankfully this evening he was back to his old self running around, and I kept having to warn him not to get hurt again. When I asked him to tell me about what  happened, he could only remember the first fall. He remembered getting up, running to daddy, and suddenly daddy was carrying him. 

I crawled into bed with him this evening and cuddled him close, listening to him breath. He gave us quite a scare today and I am thanking God that he's ok. 

Such a big machine for such a little kid! 

When we first got there they put the heart rate monitor on his finger. He thought it was fascinating to watch his heartbeat on the computer screen, 

Television time! 

It's hard to tell how bad the bruise is until you move his hair out of the way. Tim likened him to Boris Karloff because of the swelling!

Passed out on Daddy! 

To avoid waking him up, they just wheeled him and daddy to the scanning room. 

Still asleep!

His final diagnosis was head injury with a concussion. Also, with the CAT scan they figured out he has a sinus infection. 

We have to follow up with his doctor on Monday to make sure everything is ok.  Meanwhile, I have to find a way to keep him a little less active for the next 24 hours! 

12-11-15 My babies were babies!

I was cleaning this evening when I came across an envelope of photos that we had taken when C was 2 and Big E was six months old. Wow, they seem so little!!

I'm once again reminded how similar the boys look!

12-10-15 It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas!

The kids have started decorating the Christmas tree. The nine foot tall Christmas tree. That means there are ornaments clumped all around the bottom and very few above the 3.5 foot mark. After I got the kids to bed this evening I shuffled some of them around, now there are none above the 5.5 foot mark. We are going to need to break out a ladder to get the whole thing finished! It wasn't until I was looking at the picture of the tree that I realized some of the lights aren't working. Guess which side will be facing the wall?!? 

Tim shifted the tree across the room last night, which is great because I no longer have to squeeze by it to work in my kitchen! This weekend we will clean out the corner and get it into place. :) I. Love this time of year with all the lights everywhere. It always makes me so happy! I just wish it lasted longer!

So I switched from Verizon a few weeks ago and joined Project Fi for my phone. It is Google's cell phone service. I had been wanting to do it for awhile, and I finally bit the bullet. I purchased my new phone outright and pay a small monthly fee for my data and phone service, so far I like it. I'm telling you all this to mention that when I got home the other day from work I had a package from Google sitting at my door. It was a holiday gift of a cellphone caddy. Actually, it was more like a box filled with Lego pieces and instructions to make a cellphone caddy, which is pretty awesome. It didn't take the kids long to find it and start assembling things themselves. Big E seems to have the most fun with it, so far he has made mini obstacle courses, the cross that Jesus died on, and this giraffe.

He was very proud of it. 

Baby E is getting much more mobile.  He goes up stairs now, but hasn't quite mastered the concept of coming down them. He has started signing 'more' during mealtime and he is babbling and trying to say words now. All of his big molars have come in and it looks like he has all but four of his baby teeth. 

I love that he is finally at the age where is is so interactive with the other kids. He follows them around and steals their toys. He offers them kisses and tries to take their food. He yells at them when they are too rough and he laughs when they play games with him. He is growing so fast! 

12-09-15 A Few More Steps

Tim had an unexpected evening home, so we got to spend some time with the boys while C was at church this evening. Big E enjoyed putting decorations on the tree and Baby E worked on his walking. He can go about 5-8 steps before falling over.

12-08-15 Go Big Or Go Home

When Tim and I went on our date last weekend we stopped at Target in hopes of picking up a Christmas tree. Apparently the first weekend in December is already too late for such an endeavor, as they were out of pretty much everything. Sigh...

But to my delight, my mother in law offered to bring over a tree she wasn't using this year. So yesterday she dropped it off. I started assembling it but had to give up due to my short stature ;) and Tim finished it when he got home.

It's pretty large. Nine feet tall to be exact! Good thing we have ten foot ceilings in the kitchen. I still have to clean out the tree corner and then scooch that puppy over there, but for now it is just dominating my kitchen. Ha!

The kids think it is pretty awesome, so that's good. I need to track down my ornaments and bulbs and probably pick up a few more!!

Hopefully it will be all decorated by the end of the weekend! *fingers crossed*

12-07-15 Tears

I was tucking the kids into bed this evening when Big E notice my earrings. I don't wear earrings often and I guess this was the first time he really ever noticed them. He played with them for a moment and then asked how they were on my ears. I explained that they went through my ears. His eyes got big as he asked if there were holes in my ears and did it hurt. I told him that there were and that it did hurt when they first put them in, but they don't anymore. 

Suddenly E got this very sad look in his eyes and said, "Poor Mommy," and started stroking my ear. A moment later he turned his head away from me and started to cry. 

My sweet little boy was crying for me!!

I am often overwhelmed by the depth of his heart. I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't see the world like his big sister and my parenting needs to reflect that. He is gentle. He is sweet. He is compassionate. 

I know he will face his share of difficulties in life, but I pray that nothing crushes his generous spirit and empathetic heart, but that he will carry those traits with him throughout his life.

12-07-15 This Date

December 7, 2009 is a date that is etched into my mind for it is the date in which I first learned I would become a mother.

I remember the excitement, and the panic that soon followed at the thought of having a child. How could we possibly be ready for this. Tim and I had been married for two years and our friends had started having kids. We had just had two nieces born and we were at that point in our marriage where people started asking if we were next.

I was still just a contract employee at my job and I wondered how having a baby would affect my situation. I wondered if I was cut out for motherhood. I didn't know much about being a mom, but what I did know is that your life was no longer your own. There would be another human being absolutely and completely dependent on you for their very survival. And that thought seemed immense!

As I settled into my pregnancy, I wondered if the nervousness would wear off. Morning sickness was a horrible beast. Soon my belly was growing and I was feeling kicks and movements. Ultrasounds were magical moments I wished I could do daily. I would laugh as my belly bounced with baby hiccups and I would tear up at the strong kicks into my ribs.

I remember standing in the baby aisle at the store trying to register for my baby shower and being completely overwhelmed at all my options, having no idea what I might need, and furiously texting and calling my sister in law to double check my choices.

As the warm months dragged on and I got more uncomfortable, the feelings of anxiety began to make way for feelings of anticipation and excitement. My due date came and went, and so did my fear. I just wanted it to be done.

And when she arrived, everything changed.  Those first few weeks were a blur of mind numbing exhaustion, colic, and recovery. And by the time December 7th rolled around again, I went by a new name... Mommy. 

Six years later, that name still sounds sweeter than I ever could have imagined. 

12-06-15 The First Christmas Night

This evening was the kids production at church. The kids have been working on this for weeks and were very excited that the day had finally arrived. C was a star and Big as was a donkey. 

The kids practice with the Cherub Choir every Sunday morning. I've been helping my mother in law with that for some time now and it really is a lot of fun. The 2s and 3s basically just stare at you the whole time, but the 4s and 5s really get into the signing. This evening their song was Go Tell It On The Mountain. We had multiple conversations with Big E that he was not allowed to bounce through the entire song. He must have been listening cause he stayed pretty still. Also it was the first year that one of my kids wasn't picking their nose the entire time! 

C got to sing the verses with her cousin Adie. She was practicing all afternoon.

Shortly before showtime, Daddy started prepping our little donkey.

All ready to go!

My little star waiting in line...

During the rest of the evening, the youngest kids were contained in the stable. 

Thanks to everyone that put so much time and energy into this evening! You did a great job!!

Baby E discovered Christmas lights!