There was no way I would be okay with someone throwing up on me, or wiping their snotty nose on my shoulder, or peeing on my bathroom floor.
And I certainly would not have agreed to 'read' the same picture book twelve times in a row.
But that was two years ago.
These days, I choose my outfit based on whether or not that snot spot can rub out. I use phrases like, "Is that cat poop in your mouth?" and "Are you blowing bubbles with your nose?" and "I think someone is going to the bathroom!"
I make late night emergency runs to Walmart for diapers... I have a stockpile of rice milk... I know that original formula Desitin works the best... I am keenly aware of silence and the mischief that can be found there... I'm constantly locked out of my own kitchen cabinets... I know diapers are one of the few things in life you cannot buy generic... I know where all the squeaky boards are in my house and avoid them after dark...
I know that showers are a luxury and there is no such thing as a quiet dinner... I've learned that my food is not my own... and that scalloped potatoes take longer to cool than any other side item... Also, eating lots of vegetables can turn you orange...
I've learned that more words rhyme than you think they do... And I know that the word "dat" can mean any number of things from kitty to ceiling fan to butterfly...
I have also learned that I am not too mature to hide behind furniture and pop out just to hear squealing... that baby massages always tickle... that kisses sometimes involve teeth... and that when all else fails, chasing the cat always elicits a smile... That footy pajamas have just enough traction to get you where you need to go... and where you need to go is usually up the stairs...
And finally, Charlotte has taught me that going to sleep is much easier with a soft blankie and a stuffed bunny...
I'd like to take this moment to thank Charlotte for all my new found knowledge! I truly believe I am a better (if not well rested) person because of her!
