08-31-15 Exhausted

With the second week of school officially underway, our evenings have taken on a whole new dynamic. We've never been much for keeping the kids up late, but now that we have to keep school in mind, bedtime has become a bit more consistent. Tim has been working a later schedule for the past few weeks, so that means dinner and bedtime are on me. It's fine, really, it just all takes a little longer with only one person.

Between someone pooping on the floor, someone sitting on Baby E's head, and someone running their head into a door frame, I'd say our night had plenty of adventure. I was so exhausted that when I brought Baby E downstairs, we sat in the rocking chair and both promptly fell asleep. I love feeling a sleeping baby on top of me, listening to his rhythmic breathing, feeling his warm skin against my cheek.  It was the perfect ending to an exhausting day!

Conversations with C-

About school-

Me- So what's the name of the kid that sits next to you at school?

C- I don't know. He got a red light. They took him away. He hasn't come back.

Me- Whats a red light?

C- That means you've been bad. I'm always on the green light. 

The other night-

C- I think we should get a hunting camera and set it up in the woods and when we see a picture of a deer on it then daddy should go out and kill the deer so that I can eat it. But if he gets scared he should take a flashlight. Pause. But what if the deer tries to eat daddy?!?!

Me- it's ok, deer don't eat meat, they only eat plants.

C- Wait? Are people made of meat?

Me- yes. 

C- Ew!!!!

08-30-15 It will happen soon.

Dear Baby E,

I can see it in your face before you even try. You spy something just out of reach and your eyes open wide. Your arms start to flap in anticipation. And then you dive face first towards your goal. Rarely do you reach it. But you want to, oh how you want to. You let out your frustration with squeals and cries, and begin to maneuver yourself by rolling back and forth, stretching out your arms until you grab what you first dove for. I want to reach down and help you, but you have to learn this on your own. 

I know we are weeks, maybe days from you crawling, and all that that entails. It's the calm before the storm, really. Once you learn that skill then the game changes. Every staircase, every lost small toy part, every piece of dropped food will be fair game. (I will never forget the day I pulled cat poop out of your sister's mouth or the dead stink bug out of your brother's.) Kids can be gross. 

It's a bittersweet milestone for mommies, I think. We love to see our kids grow and develop and we know that with crawling they are one step closer to walking. But it's also the moment our children start to assert their independence. It's their first taste of freedom, and the moment they begin a lifelong pursuit of it.

So while I am excited that you are getting closer to mobility, I will enjoy the last short weeks when I can find you where I set you down and not worry about outlets, kitchen cabinets, and (Lord willing) deceased insects and cat poop. 

08-29-15 A surprisingly wonderful day...

Tim has been working a lot of hours lately and when I heard he had to go to work today, I admit I was pretty bummed. When I have all three kids by myself, I tend not to be as adventurous because I kinda feel overwhelmed. So I figured we would be spending most of the day at home, which didn't sound appealing. 

As it turns out, though, a dear friend came over and spent the day with me and the kids and it was wonderful. Having her over made the difference between a day I was kinda dreading to a day I didn't want to end! I think that might be the mark of a pretty good friendship, huh?!! 

Anyways, in between talking, playing with the kids, watching tv, etc., we also took the kids out to play on their bikes and they were joined by their cousins. 

Overall it was a surprisingly wonderful day!

08-28-15 Week One

C survived her first week of Kindergarten. Maybe survived isn't the right word. Perhaps thrived. She loves it. She usually isn't much for opening up about her day, but since starting school she enthusiastically answers all of my questions and volunteers information and stories. It's fun to see her so excited about all the new experiences. Her greatest disappointment is that they haven't started painting in art class, and by painting, she means painting walls. She loves the library and she is starting to make friends. She had P.E. Today but informed me that they didn't play games they just raced from one end of the gym to the other. She cracked me up when she told me about an interaction with one of her classmates. 

C- Bryce really wanted to win, so I decided to run a little faster. 

Me- Did you beat him? 

C- yeah, I did.  

Poor Bryce, whoever he is! 

She has a new best friend that rides her bus, but she cannot seem to remember his name (I love how kids make friends so quickly!) 

Overall she is having a blast! We will see if that attitude continues after they start sending home homework! 

Sorry there are no pictures tonight. Tim is working late, so I braved the farmers market with my three crazies. Halfway there I started thinking, wow, this is such a bad idea! But I sucked it up and took them anyways! Thankfully they were pretty well behaved. We had Rita's and walked around. C complained I talked with other people too much. The kids were disappointed they couldn't play on the beach, but I'm waiting until Big E's toe heals completely before I let him anywhere near sand. Also, without Tim I didn't relish the idea of trying to drag over tired kids off of the beach. 

By the time we got home it was dark. They are now fast asleep and soon I will be too! 

08-27-15 A Tight Spot

Baby E rolled himself into a tight spot this evening... Literally.

I heard him fussing from the other room and when I came in I found him crammed in the bottom floor of C's dollhouse. He was not amused. 

At one point he just gave up. I thought he might fall asleep there!

Later I caught C reading a book to Baby E. So sweet!

08-26-15 Happy Birthday, C!

Dear Sweet One,

I gave you a bath this evening and when you got out, I wrapped you in a towel, and you let me hold you much like I held you that first night five years ago. You see, it has been five years since we met face to face. But I knew you much longer than that. At first you were just a fluttering... A promise that something, that someone was growing inside me. I felt dizzy and sick, but that didn't last long and soon my belly started to get bigger. I nicknamed you Shlomo.

I was scared of you at first. I didn't know much about children and even less about babies. And as my belly grew, so did my doubts. Not about you.  I never doubted I wanted you! I doubted my ability to be a good mommy to you. I was scared I would mess you up! But I followed all the rules. I didn't eat lunchmeat. I avoided sushi. I didn't shovel my driveway when it snowed!

And at long last you came. Not how I had envisioned, of course. I had handed the nurse my birth plan and within a few hours it was thrown out the window, replaced with the reality that every time I moved your heart rate dropped. And when they couldn't get it back up they forced a smile and announced your birthday was happening right now as they wheeled me to an operating room. The room was deathly quiet save the noise of the machines and the low murmuring of the doctors. But within minutes you were born. And I cried. I cried because you were safe. I cried because you were the girl I always wanted. 

I was a mommy. 

It was easily one of the most profound moments of my life. Over the next few days I couldn't stop staring at you. Your little fingers. Your little toes. Your tiny little mouth and nose and ears. Everything about you was perfect! You stole my heart.

As predicted, it happened quickly. The last few years a blur of milestones, sicknesses, chaos, and victories! 

But the overarching emotion is joy. Joy for being your mommy and getting the privilege to watch you grow. 

And today you are five. 

I think I am going to enjoy this age. You have a lot of energy and optimism. You are curious about everything and love to adventure. You swing between being fiercely independent and needing to hold my hand. You let me in on all your secrets and you still think the best of everyone you meet. In these moments, I like to think that I am getting a glimpse into the woman that you are going to become and I feel blessed to be your mom. You are so very dear to me! 

I love you, 

Mommy

Thank you Mrs. Rebecca for the flowers, bear, and balloons!!!

08-25-15 A first day recap in C's own words

Over dinner this evening I asked C a few questions about her first day of school. Here are her responses. 

1. What was your favorite thing about school? That we really, really, really got to go to the library. 

2. What was your least favorite part about school? I didn't even get to do puppets. 

3. What do you think about your teacher? That she's very nice and that she lets us go on the playground all the time. And she lets us stay up. I didn't like going on the playground because I got all sweaty. 

4. What did you like about the bus ride? That I got to sit next to a new friend!

5. Did you make any friends? Yup! But I don't remember my friends.

6. Did you miss Mommy and Daddy? Yup! That's why I made that picture for you guys! 

7. What do you want to be when you grow up?  I don't know.

8. Are you tired? Uh huh. 

9. What did you think of the cafeteria? Very good. No one wanted to sit next to me. I scooted over next to my friend. But no one wanted to sit next to me. (Mommy heartbreak moment right there.)

10. Did anything scare you today? Well, one of Ms. B's kids ran away. That was super scary! The one that was in the blue shirt! (Yikes! Poor teacher!)

11. Did you answer any questions in class? Yes.

12. Did you like your desk? Love it! I love it! It's so beautiful and I sometimes I want to have... And I wish that I could be with daddy right now! (Aww!!)

13. How tired are you? I'm like this big? (Holds her hands five inches apart.)

So there you go... C's first day in her own words.  Sounds like she had fun. 

With her birthday being tomorrow, I cleared with her teacher to let me bring in a snack for the kids. 

I'd like to lie to you and tell you I baked these this evening while preparing a healthy, organic meal for my family, but in all honesty I bought them at Giant on my way home, and divided them into baggies. I did make the labels, so that's something, right?!? As for my healthy organic meal? I picked up a rotisserie chicken, instant mashed potatoes and canned biscuits. At least no one went hungry! 

08-25-15 The First Day

Dear sweet girl,

Today was your first day of kindergarten. I could tell you were nervous because you got up super early and wandered into my room asking to cuddle with me. Then you barely ate breakfast. You kept saying your stomach was full, but I imagine there were quite a few butterflies dancing in your tummy. You picked out a beautiful blue dress and let me brush your hair. Then you rode on your scooter as you waited for the bus to arrive. At that moment you seemed so incredibly big and small at the same time. Big because you have grown over the summer, your arms and legs have lengthened and thinned. But small because your backpack hung off your shoulders dwarfing your petit frame. 

You were excited to realize you would be riding the same bus as a neighbor girl... The same girl you stand in awe of every time she passes. When you finally saw the bus, you once again became timid and clung to your daddy. I'm scared, Daddy! But as the doors opened and the other kids boarded you took your daddy's hand and walked towards the steps. You stepped up, let go, and didn't look back. And so began your first day. 

I worked a short day today so that I could see you get off the bus. When the doors opened and the kids piled out I waited to see your face. When you jumped down you ran to my arms and held on as the bus drove off. And then you started talking! You told me all about your teacher and that you got to go to the library and you made lots of friends. You smiled and laughed all evening. 

By bedtime you were exhausted and a little fussy. This new schedule will take some getting used to for all of us. Welcome home little one! 

Rest. Sleep. Dream. 

Tomorrow is a new day. 

Love, 

Mommy