In the moment...

Charlotte discovered something last night... Diapers... Sure, she has one plastered around her little bum almost 24 hours a day, but last night she actually discovered them. I had set one on the changing table next to her head as Tim was changing her diaper. Quite accidently, she picked it up. Once in her hand, she stared very intently at it. Amazed by its relative size versus its light weight, she began to swing it around in the air. Almost immediately she slapped herself in the face with it. I watched with interest, expecting her to get fussy...

But she didn't. She smiled. Then she started waving her hand frantically, slapping herself over and over again in the face. And then she started to laugh. Her laugh is contagious, sounding more like she's happily hyperventilating, rather than laughing. We couldn't help but join in. She took this as encouragement, and the diaper flew even more rapidly at her face, and her legs began to kick. By this point, she was shrieking with delight.

The thing about babies is that they live completely in the moment. With no long term memory to speak of, they approach each experience with a clean slate. These moments that mean so much to me, are not being retained by her. One day they will be... One day she will be able to remember the silly moments... She will remember the laughter... But not yet... For now, I will store these moments up in my heart... And as I fall asleep at night, I will replay them. And maybe, just maybe, I'll hear that sweet little laughter in my sleep.