Wednesday, September 9, 2015

09-09-15 My sweet boy

Dear sweet boy, 

I realize that you don't get talked about as much as the other two. Your older sister is embarking on unknown territory and Baby E conquers new milestones weekly, and you are somewhere In between. Maybe this is how middle child syndrome starts.

You were excited tonight. So much so you could barely even handle it. I promised you we were going somewhere and you couldn't wait. When we got there, though, you got turned away. You got turned away because you are three years old and not completely potty trained. I was blind sided. 

I stood there searching for words, desperate to defend you, but my mind reeling with a voice in my head saying "You failed, Joanna. You don't measure up. He's three and he should be potty trained by now, and he isn't. What kind of mother are you?!?" It's funny how quickly thoughts like that can sneak in. Those thoughts, though, are dangerous. I have to be careful not to let them take root, because they aren't true. My success and failure as a mother are not dependent on earthly goalposts built on shifting sand. Are my children loved? Yes. Do we do everything we can to protect and provide for them? Yes. Do we daily try to point them to Christ and His saving work of salvation? Yes. Then by the grace of God, I have not failed. 

I turned and saw you, your eyes big with excitement, bouncing up and down waiting for me. My heart sank because I knew in a moment that yours would too. I told you that we couldn't stay and you didn't really understand, but I convinced you that walking around for a few moments would be great fun, and so we did. 

As we walked I thought about all the moms that have ever told me that their little boys didn't start potty training until they were three. And actually you are doing great with potty training, you just aren't completely there yet. And it's something you have to do on your timetable, not mine. 

And while you aren't completely potty trained yet, you are pretty awesome in many other areas. 

For instance, you are the sweetest little boy I have ever met. You always say please and thank you. You share your food and toys. You love to snuggle and kiss. You made up a game where I make a sad face until you come over and kiss me and then I am allowed to smile. That is quite possibly one of my favorite games ever. You are incredibly curious and you want to know how everything works. You love your siblings. When you see someone upset you try to comfort them. You have the most beautiful blue eyes and blond hair. Your smile brings me joy and your laughter fills our home. You are my boy, my handsome pants, my little prince. And I love you!

As for the potty training, don't sweat it, you will get there... Exactly when you are supposed to. :)

Love, Mommy

**note- I am not angry about the potty training rule, or the people who are enforcing it. I was just not aware of it, and was therefore surprised.***